There is an ancient story that tonight, I feel in my bones. The moment after a great victory can be a time of intense need. It’s like rawness intersects with both truth and our vulnerability …
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Success & Fear: When Exhaustion Whispers
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May 21 — Painiversary, Reclaim the Day
May 21. It’s the day that I work so hard to reclaim every year. The day I was 26. Alone. Attacked. Beaten. Raped. Left. But it does not belong to them. It is mine. And …
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One Year Breaking Free
One year ago today (19th) one of my rapists was released from prison—two days before the anniversary of the day he attacked, raped, and left me for dead (21st). He wasn’t serving time for rape. …
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Triggers, Cameras, & Victory
For all those who know my healing journey: tomorrow I am going to be interviewed ON CAMERA about my warrioring to help survivors (ACESDV Thrive Three Heart Award). <healing rewind> Cameras were a huge part …
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Advocacy Out of Reach?
Four years, four months, four days ago. Everywhere I looked, the news, articles, social media, and tv, blasted the pictures of the two men who raped me and beckoned anyone who knew anything about them …
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Adult Coloring Book for Survivors of Trauma
Rising Up in an Uprising: Adult Coloring Book for Survivors of Trauma by BilliJoy Carson It is finally here! The feedback has been amazing from survivors, allies, social workers, advocates, and therapists. Find out how …
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The Man Women’s March Was For
Real talk. Today at the Kick at Darkness table, a man came up. He asked what we did. He was the fourth man I spoke to and I was excited how many male allies were …
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Wild Blackberry Bushes of Trauma
I was born in Oregon. But I have very little memory of it. When I was four, the desert became my home. The land that has prickly pears and citrus. We aren’t known for fresh …
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#ReturnTheLetter
I found a place for my letter. Yes, THAT letter. At the end of September, while everyone was gripped by the scenes of Dr Blasey Ford’s interrogation by a prosecutor from Maricopa County, AZ, I …
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Soiled Innocence
Today, oh what a dear blessing to my soul. I was able to visit the home my family lived in when I was 0-4. Southeast Portland (Woodstock). Marcia, a precious family friend who lived two …
